...to change the things I can, the patience to deal with the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."
It's been a while since I've posted here, with good reason. There's just too much to do in a day already without sitting down and telling people about it. But I've been thinking too much again, which means it's time for a long, boring blog post so I can get things off my chest and go back to the mindless tedium of everyday life.
I've been less than happy lately, and the "why" lies in the above quote. I still don't have the patience to deal with life. Little things get to me more than they should, and the end-of-semester disregard for classes has set in early. I missed a test this morning because I overslept, and I don't care as much as I "should" according to everyone else's standards.
Don't get me wrong, life isn't bad at all. I work a lot, yes, and I'm taking 17 hours of classes this semester. I don't have a lot of time to hang out with friends but I've been doing well so far with taking opportunities as they come. My homework usually gets done on time and I even made it to the first concert of the semester at the coffeehouse. I have things planned out for the semester, and most of them have gone well.
I just feel like I've lost control of the rest of my life. I'm never quite caught up with everything I forgot to do yesterday, never quite ready for tomorrow, and never able to really get away and rest. I miss the days when I could skip class and can peaches instead. I miss being able to choose what I was going to do on a daily basis. I miss being selfish, maybe. I hate hearing "we need the money" when I want to skip work, no matter how true it is. I am frustrated by "It's just a rule we have" or "You're not allowed to do that". Call me a typical Pisces, but I hate living in this world. I want a full-time escape.