um?

Looks like this blog is pretty much going to be abandoned. *shrugs* At least I got the background image to work. It looks pretty.

I think... I should stop avoiding my work and get it done with. I'll feel much better.

Music, and musings

*sings along to AFI* <3>

I am tired. Very.

Yay for people who love me. I love them back. 'Specially Rick and Jane. ^^

I want: A long, hot, relaxing bath. A full-body massage *grin*. A good night's sleep, with no interruptions, no bad dreams, no waking up halfway through the night for unknown reasons and no classes to worry about the next day. Waking up next to Rick would be nice, too.
Instead I get more homework, quick showers that lately haven't been as warm as they used to be (probably because the bathroom's cold), and aching muscles that don't seem to have any reason to ache. :( *sigh* I will live. Just not as happily.

I miss Rick, and Jane's companionship, while helpful, also serves to confuse me as to what I feel for her. -.- Anyway. This is a rant for my journal, not my blog. I may go lay down.

Winter approaches, and so do midterms...

Didn't sleep well last night, for some reason. It could have been the pent-up frustration left over from my math homework and the neglected thesis paper with a rough draft due Friday; it might have been the girls down the hall totally disregarding the quiet hour rules. It may even have been because I stayed up way too late Sunday night and it's just now catching up with me. All I know is that I wasn't too happy this morning and I think I need a nap.

I also closed my fingers in the door last night, though not hard enough to do anything more than make me laugh at myself.

It was cold this morning, I heard someone say 30, and I believe it, because I saw frost on the grass outside Zink Hall. Damn, winter's coming. Seems that it's coming too fast, though. There haven't been enough of those wonderful, cool, crisp, apple picking, running through leaves, admiring the colors kind of fall days... as if summer lasted too long and there won't be an autumn this year.

Time to find my chapstick again.

*flop*

I'm going to collapse after this week is over, and I think it's because I'm so inconsiderate of my body's wants. My legs still hurt a little, my back's finally stopped hurting (for a while sitting up straight on this ball made my poor weak back muscles complain) and I'm tired enough to half-sleep through chemistry (yeah, the class is that boring). But I'm getting some things done and I'm mildly happy. Now, if I can manage to get to the health center any time soon... (I *hate* health center-type places, they make me nervous). I'm trying to get up the motivation but it's just not available. There's enough for me to do right here in front of the computer without going to Pechan, too. And it's only open weekdays from 9-4, as if they expect students to have free time then... Meh. I could have today but it just didn't happen before core, since I had a paper to write. I guess it'll have to be tomorrow, after core.

On the plus side, all that walking around campus plus two or so days of actual running every week have increased my muscle tone a bit. w00t.

Hm. I am increasingly drawn to Enya as the playlist of choice when I'm at the computer. It's so much more relaxing than the rock I have and it's in English, so I can sing along better than to say, X Japan. ^^ I'm off to do hw now...

What makes me?

Interesting, though I'd disagree that I'm that competitive...

How to make a Faerunner

Ingredients: 3 parts competetiveness 1 part brilliance 3 parts joy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

And this one's even more interesting:

How to make a Dawn Michelle

Ingredients: 5 parts competetiveness 1 part crazyiness 3 parts empathy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add caring to taste! Do not overindulge!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

*blink*
Oh, the joy...
And lookie what I found! Cute little icons for linkies!
bonecold

*sigh*

I tend to title a lot of my blog entries with *sigh* or "meh" or something blah along those lines. Seems when I blog I'm either bored out of my mind, incredibly depressed or jumping out of my chair with joy.

Looks like this is my new home. I'll show it to Jane, and Allison (she'll appreciate that I'm posting in a blog again and not censoring 'cause of dad) and to Rick, though maybe not right away. I think for now this will be what his blog is.. basically a message board to a few people. It's not meant for the world to see.

My first message isn't a good one, unfortunately. And I wish I could say it a different way, but Jane, you'll understand I hope. I'm just not good at leading into this kind of thing, I hate just coming out and saying it, but it's so hard to say something like "We need to talk"...

Anyway, I'll just get it out of the way.

No more kissing. On the cheek, or elsewhere. No more long hugs, no walking around holding hands... I can't. Not only has Rick admitted that it still bothers him, but Laura's begun to tell me some of it could be 'dangerous' and she's surprised I'd do it when I have a boyfriend. And honestly, I feel guilty about it sometimes. So I can't keep pretending it's all okay...
I'm sorry. When Rick tells me it hurts to see us with our arms around each other, that he feels like I'm disregarding what he first told me about this, it makes me feel like I've betrayed his trust. I hate myself for that and I have to stop.
It's not that I like you any less but I'm more comfortable just being friends. I don't want to lose a friend like you over something like this... but I don't want to lose Rick either. He's the one person I love most in this world and I'm not going to let him slip away.
I'm sorry.

A new one..

...which was created for the sole purpose of remaining hidden except to my closest friends. Like the first, originally. Hah. More on that later, as it's too late for me and I was supposed to be asleep over half an hour ago.