Stream of Consciousness At 6am.

Stayed up all night again. Sleep has been coming and going in very odd patterns lately, I'm mostly nocturnal and it's kind of funny because now the sun's up for so much longer, so by the time I get tired in late afternoon it's still beautiful outside and I feel guilty for sleeping.

My motivational level is at an all-time low and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I know that I have x, y, and z to do and that it'll take me 18+hours to do it all, and most of it's due, in a polished form, by Wednesday. I know that there's no logical way I'm going to be able to finish all of my homework, I've known all weekend that every hour I spent procrastinating was another hour later I'd have to stay up on Tuesday night, and possibly a few classes to skip on Monday. As if I can afford to skip another class. I really shouldn't, but I've lost the energy it takes to get up and walk out the door.

I should probably go lay in the sun for a bit. Maybe it would help. I miss Mexico insanely right now, and I can't help thinking that I don't even remember last semester because it went by so fast but all I remember of this one is being too busy to enjoy anything and missing places I'll probably never see again. I can't help but think that I'm on a one-way track to nowhere if I continue my education and employment here in the US and want to get the heck out, but there's nowhere to go. Canada's too close for comfort, despite free health care and a few friends already there. Mexico's no better than we are, they're having all kinds of political trouble and Americans tend to be wide-open targets for crimes in most areas. Finland sounds nice, haha... but I can't even afford to buy a coffee in Euros right now, with the dollar so low (and my bank account even lower, paying the rent this month will be next to impossible, and we still owe that $130 garbage fee have been putting off paying since January in hopes we'd be left alone).

I'm starting a garden, another one of my silly half-assed "this is going to make me look and feel productive!" projects. It's going to be a container garden, on the porch, which means I'll probably forget about it for weeks at a time this summer. Speaking of summer, I have no plans except the library so far, I'm not very interested in finding another job even though money will be very very very tight if I don't. I'm hoping for slightly more hours this summer than I've had this semester, and keeping my eyes open for a job that doesn't involve getting 3 references and fingerprinting. (.pdf file)

I'm sick and tired of life here. I don't have a productive job and my homework is seeming far more meaningless than usual, which is bad considering how little I usually think homework means. My classes aren't really that interesting. I want to go outside and start taking nature courses again, or something. Maybe I should have been a bio major. Hah.

I'm not sure whose expectations I'm trying to meet any more. My own are so half-formed and changing that I frustrate myself every time I try to think about what I really expect of myself. I know I don't really want to live up to my friends' expectations of me because as cool as my friends are, their expectations are not who I really am. I'm just not sure why or how I'm different.

Rick bought a BB pistol and I'm going to start shooting targets in the yard, if I ever actually get away from the computer. I think I should know how to shoot, just in case. Even a BB can hurt like hell at close range.

My wrist has developed a phantom itch. I'm allergic to cheap metal, but I haven't been wearing a watch for months, since my beautiful xmas gift broke and I haven't had the time nor money to get the strap replaced. Still, my left wrist has a few small bits of rash on it just like the ones that I get when I wear cheap metal, and it itches occasionally. The only thing I can think is that the skin's irritated from resting on the edge of my keyboard shelf. It's fake wood. I can't figure out why it'd make me itch unless there's some chemical in it. Either way I can't do much about it so I'm going to leave it alone and go do some more laundry so I have clean pants to wear to class this morning.

Sprung!

Spring is most definitely on its way. The weather's been going crazy lately, getting icy-cold one day and warm enough to go jacketless the next (like today! It's gorgeous and I'm giddy!). That's a definite indicator that winter's packing up and going into hibernation. The sun's out, and the snow's melting, and the wind is almost warm today. I'm excited, I hope it stays like this for at least a few days, because now I'm on Spring Break and I can put off my homework for a bit to enjoy the weather.

I'm tempted to ask if we can take the bike out. >.>

I drove home with the windows down and the music up because it was the only way I could think to celebrate finally being done with classes for a whole week and still be safe on the road :D There are people in t-shirts outside. I would go out but I'm too tired to go for a run and there's not much else to do outside yet. Once the weather is consistently above freezing I'm going to start making a container garden on the patio. I miss gardening... it was really fun when I was little, and then academia hit and I didn't have time any more.

Should find a summer job... someone I know works for PENNDOT, and they're paid $10.16/hr or so to hold signs all summer. If I knew where I'd be all summer I'd definitely apply to the DOT for a job. It might mean getting up early and being on your feet all day, but the pay's pretty good and at least I'd get some exercise. It's that, or try to get into a camp/day care, which would be fun but requires so much in the way of clearances and planning and... I, for once, would like to not have to work harder to get a job than to keep it.

I Hurt.

Today I am in a bad mood. My back hurts, I forgot my binder with all my homework at work last night, I have to present in class today and it is Wednesday. I got my paycheck today, after forgetting since Friday, and it's just enough to pay for a quarter of our rent. My next check is going to be really bad since I missed 3 of my 6 days of work, because of the weather. Even though the weather is getting better, things still seem to be going downhill financially. I should be working more hours and another job, but I can't stand the thought, and Rick's not working, which makes me feel even worse that all I'm bringing in is going straight back out.

Meh.

Certain things...

...piss me off. And I use those words because I mean them. There are a few things that make me twitch (bad grammar), some that annoy me (not using turn signals), and many, many things that are mildly irritating (smoking). But only a select group of things really piss me off, and one of those is disrespect, especially coming from people who can dish it out but can't take any.

There is a certain man in the games channel I regularly chat in, husband to one of the channel ops, and a generally knowledgable figure when it comes to the game. They have a grown son and are probably about as old as my parents. I love his wife, she's a great person. He, however, started getting on my nerves a while back, because he's shown increasing disrespect to most of the channel: speaking down to us, picking fights over little things, taking offense if someone didn't see things his way (and many of us didn't). He finally started outright attacking my fiance (calling him a little boy, putting down any arguments, etc), and I finally snapped.

I told him ENOUGH in the public channel. Instead of being sensible, apologizing and shutting up, he said: "i do not know WHO you think you are but when someone tries to pick a fight with me i will respond as i see fit not as others think i should" (typos edited). He was the one who'd started the fight by telling Rick that if he wanted an argument he "should go to someone who is prepared to get down to your level". Coming from him that was more than enough to make Rick leap for his throat. Normally I just duck and cover, but even with testosterone flying I was pretty pissed too, and I went after him.

When I reamed him out in PM, he never replied, but he left the channel PDQ. That kind of person, who's all puffed up with self-importance, rarely stays around long enough to deflate properly, and I hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet! See, earlier he'd gotten into a spat about the game running on Linux and how his son said it should work (and of course his son is highly paid to know, so he's always right). We had both seen posts on various forums saying it didn't, and I've had enough experience with Linux to know that it doesn't always work smoothly with software designed for windows, even when it logically should. Well, he wouldn't see our point then either... and I even tried to peacemake. So when this next confrontation started up, I should've gone straight for the throat and aimed a few well-placed comments about his dearest son. Pity I was seething mad and didn't remember.

I know, I'm mean. I'm a regular bitch, deep down. As nice as I try to be to everyone, and as much slack as I will cut someone who slips up a few times, this man who's likely twice my age failed in both respect (I give it, I expect it, and I don't care if you're the goddamned Queen of England, you WILL abide by the Golden Rule) and common courtesy (continuing to attack in-channel when asked by an uninvolved party to move it to PM, twice, then attacking said party). Not to mention his typing sucks (he blames his keyboard) and that makes me twitch.

Useless.

A little while ago, the exhaust finally rusted all the way through on the Probe. The boy sized it up, ordered the parts (an entire new system, from header all the way back), and then it started snowing. Today's been the warmest (37* F) that it's going to get for a while. He'd already decided to work on the car today, no matter what the weather did, so he's out there pulling things apart, and I'm in here regaining feeling in my toes... after two minutes outside.

I feel absolutely, mind-numbingly useless. I get cold so fast I could probably chill meat better than the freezer. But it's not over-all, hypothermia cold, it's just hands-and-feet cold, which makes it worse 'cause no matter how much I bundle up, my extremities lose heat, and no amount of warmth in the rest of me will travel to my toes. Every time I go outside and stand for more than a minute, I end up walking painfully around for half an hour after, trying to encourage my circulatory system to do its damn job, and wondering how I've managed to survive this long without severe frostbite.

I'd like to blame my mother and her smoking habits, but I think it's more genetic than anything. Dad's thin as a rail, mom has low blood pressure (or so she claims). Put the two together, and you end up with me - no insulation and a dysfunctional circulatory system. I'm like a lizard. I could freeze on a summer day, if you kept me in the shade long enough. And that makes me hopeless as far as even keeping the boy company; even when I'm interested, I'm never able to stay warm enough to stay outside. It pisses me off. I don't WANT to be forced inside every five minutes because I have toe-sicles. I especially hate being forced to stay inside for half an hour or more waiting for them to warm up. My body is useless.

On Education, Magic, and Why I'd Rather Be Farming.

Ah, school. The source of most of my joy (and stress) over the last 15 years. Last semester was one of the best I've ever had. It was the worst my sister and boyfriend have ever had. I decided that this semester, to go along with the academic probation, they're on my watchlist. I had to push the boy out the door for class today. He didn't want to go to Math (I don't blame him). But if he starts skipping classes this semester like he did last semester, I'm going to push him out the door a lot more. Same goes for sister. It makes me feel like a regular bitch saying this, but I don't want to hear excuses; if you can stay upright, you can go to class. She is NOT allowed to skip class, to hang out with too many boys, etc. Am I mean? Probably. Am I putting my nose where it doesn't belong? Undoubtedly. Do I care? Not an atom. I am concerned for the grades and future of the people I love, and that makes it important for me to be pushing them to go to class, do their homework, etc. And being a bitch makes a good motivator for getting my work done, too. If I slip up, I lose my leverage, and then I start skipping, too. And that's terrible. Because despite my wit, beauty, experience with children, and "above-average intelligence", I still need a degree to convince someone that I'm worth hiring.

Speaking of terrible, I found something that I thought really picks up on the Dark Side of Disney (tm). Quote from a BookCrossing article (here):
What happens when you release a book in a public area and an employee picks it up and delivers it to Lost & Found? This question has formed the basis for a good deal of discussion in the Forum. One thread warns that releasing on Disney property will result in the books disappearing into eternal limbo.
And an actual quote from what I assume is a Disney employee: "This book looks lame, so I'm sending it to our Central Lost and Found department where it will languish in obscurity pretty much forever. I'm glad to be breaking the chain of your stupid book-trading idea." Now, part of me is outraged at the personal attack on Book-Crossing and the BC'er who released that book, but another part of me is utterly horrified by the sheer apathy this person is showing. First: "This book looks lame". Yeah? And? If I were less mature I'd be telling that person "Your mom looks lame". Seriously, there isn't much worse you can call something than "lame" to signify exactly how little you care - you didn't even come up with a more descriptive adjective! That's sad, in many ways. Second: The person isn't even going to leave the book for someone who might want it, and apparently doesn't consider the fact that their comment is annoying and hurtful to the bookcrossing community. That's anti-social to an extreme degree; I can understand being disillusioned after working at Disney (what do you believe, once you know how the "magic" is worked, and how many vapid people are waiting to buy tickets?), but this is just appalling. They could have at least handed the book to a co-worker who reads... there has to be ONE somewhere down there. Finally: What kind of person is glad to be dropping more things into a Lost and Found, especially books, knowing they'll never be claimed?

They're obviously in my age group. No full-grown adult in my realm of knowledge uses the word "Lame". They're relatively intelligent. "languish in obscurity" is not the kind of language my peers are known for using (okay, so my friends do, but I'm picky about my friends). And, worst of all, they work for a place that inspires (or used to, I'm not sure any more) millions of children every year. HOW DO YOU WORK WITH CHILDREN, AND THEN TURN AROUND AT THE END OF THE DAY AND WRITE SCATHING MESSAGES TO PEOPLE WHO WERE ONLY OUT TO BRIGHTEN SOMEONE'S DAY, AND ENJOY DOING IT? How? Why would someone so... lost be allowed to work with children? Granted, I don't think Disney is a role model for kids of any age, these days, but still... the people who work there, of all places, should realize the value those kids put on them. I don't care if all you do is clean up after them, you're important to making the magic happen. Don't ruin it, please.

There are a lot of people in this world who have given up on the entire human race. I've almost done it myself several times, and I'm only 20. Fortunately I was blessed with a father who tried to see the good in everyone and passed that habit on to me with some success. Still, there are times when I wonder what's happened to us, because there's too much stress, not enough childhood, and even though we're living longer, we're also living less well. No one I know is really happy - by which I mean constantly living with that sun-warmed, satisfied, almost sleepy feeling one gets sometimes, after a long day of good, enjoyable work, and friends, and healthy food - and that makes me even less happy. I am going to make a living of telling students that what will make them (and me) happy is performance, even though I know better. What makes us really happy, in my experience, is everything in moderation, and a lot of belly laughs. You can't get that in schools (where they drill reading and math like it will be our salvation), in most workplaces (where we do one thing all day, every day, and the stress just keeps coming), or even in many homes (where we strive to have the "perfect" house with big-screen TV, "nice" car, well-groomed children who we pretend don't have the flaws that we fear they do). Sometimes, I just want to quit all of this, find a cheap place in the country, and start over with a cow, a few chickens and a garden. Then I think I would be missed or left for crazy (which is worse than left for dead, because sometimes people feel obligated to visit), and I go back to my "Education of Exceptional Persons" and "Language Arts Across the Curriculum", and think: at least one day I'll be on the other side of the desk. At least I'll never be rich enough to worry about money.

Filler.

It's been a while. I've been "busy". Winter this year hasn't brought much respite like it usually does, since having an apartment means a lot more cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. Responsibility is a tough thing to handle when all you want to do is sleep in. The new semester starts next Wednesday, and I'm feeling less prepared than I did as a freshman, somehow. This is going to be the toughest semester in terms of sheer coursework that I've had yet, and I'm hoping that it won't pull me under.

I'm going to be working on campus at the library still, 4 more hours than last semester, but not enough to pay the rent... so another job is in order. I quit TNS before Christmas, having had enough of ungrateful people screaming into my ear 5 hours a night. "What do you think you're doing calling on a Sunday night?" "Paying my way through college, sir."

The kitten (did I mention the kitten last time) is getting bigger, and older, but no less silly. We need to call the vet and get him neutered, when we find the money. At least he's a strictly indoor cat. I don't trust the high-school kids who rev their engines down the block. We've also acquired a pair of mice to keep the pair of hamsters company. Hercules (the brown one) and Ares (the white one) are pretty friendly, despite being messy (as all mice are). They don't care much about the girls, though. I guess rodents don't like to mingle.

I only have 3 more semesters before graduation - and then graduate school. Where has the time gone?

All work and no play...

I have a lot of work to do. I admit, I played quite a bit over Thanksgiving break (Sid Meyers' Pirates is quite addictive), but I still can't understand how the work piled up so fast. I have two five-page papers due in the next week, one of which needs to be in Spanish (the other's done except for the bibliography, as of ten minutes ago, and I wrote most of it in an hour...), two lesson plans to teach in the next week and a half, an activity to come up with for my health presentation tomorrow, three core journals to make up (not likely to happen...), a math write-up to finish for tomorrow, reading to do, a magazine article to think about, and guitar chords to memorize. And I work every night this week, on top of all that. And I'm sick. Christmas break is only two weeks away...

...I can't wait till next semester, when I'll be even busier. I'm going to quit TNS if it means living off my student loan for a while until I find another job, because I can't stand the place and it feels like all it's doing is wasting my time, even if I do have the money for rent because of it. There's a job opening working with mentally challenged adults, and I'm going to apply as soon as I can. It pays just as well, and would be a lot more worthy of my time than calling people to bother them with questions about their calls to Verizon.

I am not doing much for christmas this year. Money and time prevent it. I feel a little bad, but at the same time I'm relieved that no one else has any money either, so it's not like I'm going to be buried in gifts and unable to return the favor. We shall see what the holiday brings. At the very least, I'll catch up on my sleep.

Want to waste an hour of your day? http://video.google.nl/videoplay?docid=8809393662634963976
Here's a video on Scientology.

NaNoWriMo is coming up again. I'm now ML for the IUP area, so those who would like free swag should join up, post in the PA:Elsewhere forums, come to the first meeting, and maybe even bring a friend! Personally, I'll be happy if five people show up. I actually have a novel-ish idea this year, and I'm planning to finish no matter what. :D It's my way of telling November that it will NOT mess with me. Three years in a row is enough, already.

Class registration is underway. I have to get an override to take 18.5 credits next semester, and hope like crazy that I can get my Spanish minor done, although I don't know that my second 3 credits of the 6 I got from Mexico will be any use at all. I emailed my professor to ask if the credits are useless, and if they are I am going to petition the Spanish department about it. I lived in Mexico for six weeks and took a class that reviewed a lot of their recent history and politics, shouldn't that count toward/as "20th Century Spanish American Culture and Civ"? (Coincidentally, that's the last class I'd need to take for my minor, and it doesn't fit in my schedule at all, ever.) I'm registered for Education of Exceptional Persons, Language Arts Across the Curriculum, Survey of Peninsular Literature (SPAN 362), Identity in Horror Lit (Honors Senior Synthesis Class, the only one I could take because the other option next semester was a $2000 trip to Italy), Multicultural/Multiethnic Education, Fundamentals of Environmental Biology (the one thing in the way of that Spanish class is the Bio Lab, which makes me hate it already). I need to get an override because those 6 classes only add up to 15.5 credits (get this, Bio's worth 2.5! for 2 hours of work! and 2 hours of class!), but I need to get into a 3-credit Honors section of Creative Writing, and I can't take over 17.9 credits. Bah.

I hope you skipped that paragraph, it was for my own memory more than your information. Anyway. Summary: Things are going really well and I'm REALLY busy.

"Grant me the strength...

...to change the things I can, the patience to deal with the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."

It's been a while since I've posted here, with good reason. There's just too much to do in a day already without sitting down and telling people about it. But I've been thinking too much again, which means it's time for a long, boring blog post so I can get things off my chest and go back to the mindless tedium of everyday life.

I've been less than happy lately, and the "why" lies in the above quote. I still don't have the patience to deal with life. Little things get to me more than they should, and the end-of-semester disregard for classes has set in early. I missed a test this morning because I overslept, and I don't care as much as I "should" according to everyone else's standards.

Don't get me wrong, life isn't bad at all. I work a lot, yes, and I'm taking 17 hours of classes this semester. I don't have a lot of time to hang out with friends but I've been doing well so far with taking opportunities as they come. My homework usually gets done on time and I even made it to the first concert of the semester at the coffeehouse. I have things planned out for the semester, and most of them have gone well.

I just feel like I've lost control of the rest of my life. I'm never quite caught up with everything I forgot to do yesterday, never quite ready for tomorrow, and never able to really get away and rest. I miss the days when I could skip class and can peaches instead. I miss being able to choose what I was going to do on a daily basis. I miss being selfish, maybe. I hate hearing "we need the money" when I want to skip work, no matter how true it is. I am frustrated by "It's just a rule we have" or "You're not allowed to do that". Call me a typical Pisces, but I hate living in this world. I want a full-time escape.

Oh, the thinks you can think!

I found some more interesting bits of Internet today.
Philips Norelco has a new marketing campaign, and apparently NoScruff is Gilette's answer to P-N. The things you can get away with online...

"You poor baby..."

So last week, the Boy found a pet store in the area, and we went looking for a pet that we were allowed to have. The landlady had told us no dogs whatsoever (and after the smell the last tenants left in this apartment, I can see why), but cats were an arguable possibility and small things kept in cages were all right. On our way out the door, our downstairs neighbors caught us and asked us a rather silly question - they had just been given a kitten by a friend, but already had two cats, and would we take him? (Of course we would!). So the apartment is now home to one anklebiting kitten named Loki, and two lovely hamsters named Xena and Gabrielle. They get along all right, so far... although Loki has decided that if it moves, it's worthy of attack. This involves more danger to our feet than to the hamsters.

In other news, I'm surviving my job better than expected. Being paid to call people and convince them to take surveys isn't the most glamorous job, but it has its perks. I don't have to deal with anyone face-to-face, I can tell them off (politely) if they say something about the Do Not Call List (since we only collect information we're not bound by the list), and I occasionally get a really nice person on the phone. Like last night: One woman early in the night actually stopped short after my introduction and said "oh, this is what you do for a living, isn't it? You poor baby...". I'm still not sure if I'm insulted or comforted by that, but she did the survey, and that's what matters. The last call of the night was also noteworthy. She had a great sense of humor and even though her opinion of my survey topic wasn't very positive, she was honest about it and didn't mind the survey at all. She made me think that this job might just be workable.

School starts in one week. I have almost everything I need, although I don't think I'm at all ready for academia yet. Summer has gone by far too quickly and with too much worry, and I wish I had a few more weeks to relax and earn some money before I have to stress about school, work and the sudden uprising of every extracurricular in existence, all at once. This year, along with the six classes and work at the telesurvey place, I'm going to try to hold down a supervisor position at the library (yay, promotion!), tutor for KidsRead again, work with my favorite theatre group, get to at least one meeting of ECO (environmentalism is FUN!), find time to hang out with friends, and get a decent amount of sleep. I'm sure I can do it, if I schedule everything correctly...
Good luck to the few of my blog-readers who are also starting school soon!

Poly-ticks.

I just checked up on the latest news from Mexico...
Sound familiar? Think November 2004.
This makes me wonder what Mexico will look like by next year...

The Mexicans have a long and bloody history of overthrowing governments and the last few decades have been stable mostly due to a single party keeping control of the political scene. This, however, looks like a bad year. The Zapatistas were marching in Mexico City earlier this year... and now there's escalating violence between the parties. I was really hoping this would be a smooth governmental transition, for everyone's sake. I worry about my friends in Mexico.

Moved in...

Long time no post, eh? I've been busy with moving an entire apartment's worth of stuff into a new apartment, finding a job, cleaning and putting things away and going to the library and generally getting set up. We got Adelphia to come out and hook up the cable today so we have internet access, which is a relief. It wasn't that much of a bother to get over to the library, except that we don't have the quarters to put in a parking meter so we had to go after 5 when they stop ticketing on campus, or walk, which neither of us has felt like doing in this heat. Thankfully we haven't had to use the air conditioning yet.

Boy and I both found jobs at the second largest telesurvey group in the world. They pay $7/hr weekdays and $8.50 Friday night through Sunday (and it goes up from there as you log hours), so it will pay the bills and maybe leave some for other things. The work's not bad, if you don't mind sitting in front of a computer and phone all day. It definitely puts the whole industry in a new light... although telemarketers still suck. We just do surveys. Interesting fact: Survey companies aren't legally bound by the Do Not Call list, so we can call anyone we like.

We met an interesting old lady the other day just down the road as we were taking a morning walk. She was very talkative, and I don't think she's had anyone pay much attention to her lately, but she was friendly and not too off-the-wall so we stood and politely listened for a while. I always wonder why more people don't stop and talk to the elderly residents who are always on their front porches or in their gardens, like they're hoping the next person to walk down the street will stop and say hello. Not enough people walk these days, except as morning exercise, though, and even fewer are willing to take time out of their 'busy' schedule to converse with a lonely old woman. She told us she was thankful for being attentive listeners, and it was pretty easy to see that we had made her day by stopping to say Good Morning. Things like that are why I haven't quite lost faith in humanity.

Horror

Tonight was a link-jumping night. I started here - at the MysticWicks forum. The thread is interesting, to say the least. From there, I hopped to a blog that seems to be encouraging all kinds of interesting beliefs in the name of proving that 2012 will be an eventful year. Honestly... what year won't? From the blog, I jumped to a news article about Europe and this very interesting essay. That's where I found this quote:

"Half of the nearly two million Iraqi casualties are children under the age of five. That's more than 330 WTC's full of little kids. By comparison, only six children under the age of five died on September 11, 2001."

Makes you think, doesn't it? Why are we doing this to the innocents of the world when there are murderers in the streets of NYC and "terrorists" crossing the border to Canada (and probably coming back in, too)? What did a five-year-old girl from Iraq ever do to Dubya that she deserves to watch her family die or become cripples at the hands of American WMDs? We bomb them because they can't fight back, apparently. Just once I would like to see our beloved president put up against the wall and facing a lineup of the people he's sentenced to death because of the American Government's lust for oil and power. Women, children, fathers; dying to keep the H2s on the road. There is no reason for this holocaust. But we're in America, and I'm supposed to be patriotic. Heil Bush!

To those who still blindly support the "War on Terror *(for Oil)":
I hope you spend an agonizing eternity staring at the torn bodies of the people you murdered.

Home, home and deranged....

Not really, but it sounds fun. I am finally back in Pittsburgh, and staying here until August 3, when we move into a new apartment (don't you love moving? So much heavy lifting, ugh.) and three weeks after that, school starts. Hopefully I will be able to pull together enough money for books, rent, registering and insuring the Probe (yes, yes, laugh at the car. I love it.) and other things I ought to be spending my money on. Mm, bills. As the job hunt here is only halfheartedly going at all, and finding a job for three weeks is hardly worth the effort of going through interviews, I may just email the person I heard from this spring, about getting a lifeguarding job on campus. That would be something, at least.. although if it's campus-connected it's probably minimum wage, and THAT just sucks. A lot.

Hm. There's nothing geekier than sitting right next to your significant other and being on separate computers. Especially when you're playing the same game. ^_^ (which we may be doing, shortly). I've also been dragged into the forumworld again, although I suppose I can find time for a few posts every now and then. Life gets busy, you know?

And speaking of busy, I have a lazy day to get started on. :D I love days off.

It's the 22nd. That means in two days I will be getting off the plane in Pittsburgh. I am inexpressably excited by this, and have told my professor so. He asked "What happened?" I should have told him the truth: He happened, and pissed me off to the point of wanting to bash in heads, but I said "Six weeks here" and he took it to mean that it's been quite long enough, thank you, and I like it here but am ready to go home. Which it has and I do and I am.

Tonight we go shopping for hopefully the last time, and I will try not to spend too much money (although I have very little to begin with). The space I left in my bags to accomodate presents is already full... should be fun dragging them through customs.

This is a wonderful place, and I want to come back some day... but next time, I'm coming on my own. It's a hell of a lot cheaper.

¡4 paginas!

Today, I wrote a 3.5 page paper (en español por supesto), and did an entire powerpoint presentation. All 7 slides. It should have been more, but eh, it's done and it's going to get us a B at least, if we talk slowly enough (it's supposed to be 15 minutes), and that's fine with me and my partner. My back is sore, my muscles are tense, my sinus cavities are congested and I am hungry... but my major work for the next two weeks is done.

On Saturday we are going to Taxco, a region famous for its silver mines and silverwork. I am looking forward to blowing a lot of money on expensive (but cheaper-than-at-home) pieces of jewelry to remember México by. I deserve it, or so I have told myself. After all, I have survived 6 weeks of a manic-depressive director and a crazy group of classmates, a too-hard mattress, a power outage (that was fun), and hours and hours in busses going to "the most important anthropological site in México" (all of them, apparently). I need something to remember it all by, and what better remembrance than shiny pieces of silver with pretty stones in them?

Okay, so pictures would suffice. After all, I do have a few hundred by now, and will be taking more before we leave. I just want to go shopping. It's been a long time since I had the complete freedom to spend as much money as I wanted on whatever I wanted. My mother even told me to enjoy the rest of my time here, because I might not get to come back.

Although speaking of coming back, I would enjoy returning at some point. I like it here despite the cockroaches in the shower. I even managed to find my way home from halfway across the city the other day - which with my sense of direction, is a miracle. It's a sign that I've adjusted, and unfortunately I have to adjust back to America. Not happy about the Official English Language Bill that's being pushed right now... although the argument is that it does not deny anyone the right to speak any other language and will help unify the country. It does push for everyone to learn English, which many people have avoided doing thus far, because all official documents and signs will be in English. And it will force people out of jobs - why have a bilingual person working a job when everyone needs to speak English anyway, eh? I am studying Spanish because there is (or was) a demand for bilingual workers. If the official language is English, where am I going to find a job that would choose me over an adequately qualified English-only speaker? I am thinking about boycotting English for a few days when I get back, just to piss everyone off and show them that I prefer our country the way it is - unified under the ideal of diversity.

Signing off, because Chili's awaits and their garlic shrimp alfredo is calling my name...

16 Days.

UNINTER is a great university. I love it here. They have new students coming in every single week, and a big "Welcome" sign at the door to let us know which universities have arrived. This week, SUNY Fredonia was on the list.

...W.T.F.? Our tiny little local artistic community college has a study abroad connection to Mexico, at the same university as I happen to be at? I am mildly weirded out by this. Especially since my first reaction to seeing Fredonia on the list was to turn and run lest the people I know from that school show up here.

So. Two weeks to go, if you don't count tomorrow, which I don't because it is going to be the easiest day we have had here so far. I don't think I have classes, because most of the class is going to Acapulco and I don't think having only two people in my grammar class is going to work out so well. Therefore a group of us may end up in Mexico City for the day. Ah, pollution, traffic and loads of tourist attractions...

I want to go horseback riding but my search thus far has turned up a grand total of one place to go, and this by word of mouth and I do not know the name of the place nor how far away it is. Meh.

*Touristy observations about how nice things are, complaint about taxis in foreign countries, notes on nice shopping center.* That is all.

¡Más Mexico! 2: Culture Shock

The first thing most people tell you about living in another country is that you will experience "culture shock." They are very right. The first thing most people tell you about Mexico is "Don't drink the water." That's also right. The first two things I had to get used to about Cuernavaca were both sanitation-related, and from what I hear that's usually the case worldwide. The water here isn't drinkable, and it's a very new experience for me, coming from a house where I could drink water straight from a spring on our hillside, to have to lug a bottle of purified water with me everywhere. The other sanitation issue is the sewer system. The plumbing in most of Mexico can't handle toilet paper and other semi-solids en masse, so we have to throw our used toilet paper into a garbage can in the bathroom. It's cleaned daily but it's one of those things that most tourists would immediately shelve under "eeeeeeewwwwwwwww." Personally I don't care, as long as it's being disposed of properly it's no dirtier to throw it away seperately than to toss it into the sewers with the rest of your waste. Of course, I have no idea how it's disposed of...

Culture shock is also a big problem because of little things like gestures, mannerisms, etc. It's a different social system down here, and while many estadounidenses can get by without changing their ways, when you live with a family and have to interact with civilians every day it's easier to pick up on mannerisms than to be labeled as a clueless tourista and have everyone make an effort to speak to you in bad English.

Food: Big problems for some people. For someone like me who will try anything (and usually like it), mexican food only poses a challenge because it's a dietary change. For those picky "I only eat xxxx food" people you're better off finding a restaurant (there's a very nice chinese one in town...) and eating out. A lot of my classmates had major stomach problems while adjusting to the Mexican diet. I admit, I had a few days of mild discomfort, but I've adjusted much better than many others. The food here is a lot spicier at times (think salsa of some type with every meal), but it's also a lot less greasy and a lot more natural. Whole wheat bread, corn-flour tortillas, meat without growth hormones or steroids or antibiotics, fruit juice freshly squeezed, natural (unbleached) cane sugar. Mmmmm....

I think I like Mexico. It's hard to get used to taking taxis everywhere and remembering not to drink the water, eat fruit from street vendors, etc, but it's definitely not as much of a culture shock as I expected it to be. I thank my Spanish professor (Thank you, Sra. Parsons!) for that.